Who U Callin' A Bitch?
Fly from the beauty salon (shout out to Will Smith's anthem 'Summertime'), I made my way home tonight on a rather fall-like summer night. The wind and sprinkles of an impending storm were battering my umbrella -- to the point where I was ready to toss the thing into the trash and sprint the remaining blocks from the subway to my house, fly 'do be damned! Little did I know the drama that same umbrella would cause in the next 10 minutes...At the corner, a young man sporting a jersey and cornrows says "Excuse me, miss?" Ever displaying my Southern charm & hospitality (I am a Tennessee transplant living in NYC), I flashed a smile and said "Yes?" At which point, he asked, "Can I get under the umbrella with you?" Now, I don't blame the brother for wanting to stay out of the rain, but come on, man! Let's be a teeny bit more creative. And didn't he watch the weather before he left the house? 'Cause if he had, he would have known that Hurricane Ernesto is bearing down on the East Coast right about now. But I digress...
Of course, I said none of those things, opting instead to note how unstable my umbrella was, effectively ending any ideas of sharing the next few steps together. My answer didn't sit well with my wannabe friend, though, who griped 'It's a brand new umbrella and you're saying it is about to break. You could have just said no and saved all that.' The light turned green and we both crossed the street and stepped onto the sidewalk.
As I passed by him, I heard "And y'all wonder why niggas be disrespecting y'all and shit." Now, maybe at that point I should have just said nothing and kept walking but I felt a need to respond. And so I did, not nearly as intelligently as I would have liked, but I did with: "And that is why you are out here alone." Which inspired this retort, "And I can go buy an umbrella, fuck you, bitch!" Luckily, by that time, I'd arrived at my building so I quickly scooted inside, shaking off the rain and his comments.
But once inside, his words started to eat at me -- not in the whole 'Wow, maybe I should have given the brother a break and shared my umbrella. After all it was only another half block.' Nope, not at all. I thought 'WHO in the world does he think he is? How DARE he speak to me that way! I am an educated, professional sister; even if I weren't, that wouldn't make his little tirade okay. So what made him think it is acceptable for him to call me a bitch?!'
I know the person I am and know the people I choose to surround myself with. So to the young brother I met tonight, no, I don't wonder why black men disrespect me; in fact, it would never occur to me that they would.
Instead I wonder why an environment exists where we feel comfortable enough to tear one another down instead of promoting, as Queen Latifah used to sing, u-n-i-t-y. And I also wonder if the next woman you encountered had to endure the same epithets I did, all because she wouldn't share her umbrella, give you the time of day or something else of equal importance.
posted by Miss E @ 10:00 PM
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